Open letter to DICE

Dear DICE,

It’s no secret that you’ve created an amazing game with Battlefield 3.  I bought it on a whim while picking up Arhkam City and haven’t put it down since.  Skyrim took a two month hiatus just so I could pad my Battlelog stats a little more.  I’ve now got service stars with 17 weapons and all assignments but one.  I wrote, when I first got the game, that no BF3 multiplayer game is the same and that they all leave you with crazy stories.  This still holds true to this day.  I got my first quint-kill just yesterday (that is the word for 5, right?) when I shot down a packed helicopter with the 9K38 Igla and it crashed about three feet in front of me.  My screen flashed as the explosion engulfed me, the chopper bouncing over my head.  I escaped with 2% health and it was amazing.  I went to a bar last night to watch the Superbowl and my buddy and I spent a good portion of the first half comparing stats.  He claimed he has a 812m headshot, but I call bullshit.  Regardless, it is clear that you’ve made an amazing game, and something that I consider as big of a milestone in my FPS history as Goldeneye, and that’s one hell of an achievement.

It went something like this...

And I’m stoked.  With this newest patch you’ve fixed all the VoIP issues so we can actually communicate like we’re playing video games, not talking on Walkie Talkies.  Don’t get me wrong, it had its charm.  But I’m convinced DorrisfromNorris lost his mic just so he didn’t have to put up with the static anymore.  Not that he plays anymore anyways, but we’re getting off topic.  Turns out you will be having a huge DLC announcement next week, and my imagination has gone wild with anticipation.  I’d kill to see a snow map honestly.  I think something up in Siberia would just be the bee’s knees, where we could possibly fight amongst a partially submurged cargo ship, trapped in the ice?  That or some good urban combat that takes place here in the States, as long as you could format the maps to work better than MW3’s.  Hell, even some folks on Reddit have been showing off their Photoshop skills in anticipation of maps to come.  I think the consensus is snow, and for good reason.  We’ve had enough of the Middle East.  Let’s get a little variety going.  Even their devs are saying it is a definite possibility.  And for anyone who pays any attention to the news, just today the Russians reached an underground lake in Antartica that hasn’t been exposed to air in 20 million years.  I would love to fight a war over Lake Vostok.

You could stand to sprinkle a few more buildings in there though, for good measure.

But with all the praise and upcoming excitement, I still have two beefs with you DICE.  First, and this is on everyone’s minds, but why didn’t the Feb. 6th patch nerf the damn USAS?  Obviously you knew it was an issue because you nerfed it in the PC version.  For those of you that don’t know, the USAS is but one of many shotguns in the game that is otherwise balanced and normal, except for the optional frag rounds that can be earned.  Once equipped, you basically have a fully automatic grenade launcher not constrained by range.  This throws the game off balance in such a terrible way.  And though often I still find myself among like-minded souls, all too often I’m trapped on a team of noobs against an army of USAS fraggers just trampling over us as they proceed across the rush map like it’s a damned marathon.  This imbalance kills the game, and attracks people who want neither realism, challenge, or skill; instead they flock to the USAS like a group of horny teenagers hearing a woman’s voice over their newly improved VoIP.  It kills the game, DICE.  Nerf it at once.

It is a sweet looking gun though.

My other complaint?  That we poor souls on the consoles have no means of recording video of our games!  PC players have a multitude of options for this and they make sure to rub it in our faces at every turn.  But I can’t tell you how often I do something amazing (which is rare), something I could never do again, and yet I have no proof of it.  If MW3 did one thing better, it was including not only a theater mode, but also a direct-to-Youtube uploading service straight from the system.  I’d love to see something similar in a subsequent patch.

And yes, before you comment on it, I realize I’m telling what I already consider the best game out there how to improve.  It’s like telling a supermodel she’s hot, but she could be hotter.  In the real world, you end up alone in your bathroom holding the door shut because the lock is broken and your roommates are just a few feet away.  Regardless, when a game is good, you always want to see it get better.  You always want to see how close to perfection it can reach.  Because criticism is something reserved for good games.  No one is out there constructively criticizing Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing.


Your humble addict, MnP.


4 Comments to “Open letter to DICE”


    The PS3 VOIP was a big issue for them and they probably had a separate team working on it, hence a separate patch.

    Don’t worry dude, USAS will be getting a nerf this month. Specifically, the effectiveness of the frag rounds.

    Now the MAV is another story. It appears they are only killing the MAV elevator issue and don’t seem to have a problem with its egregious road-killing abilities. On the 360, I haven’t come across the severe amount of USAS abusers that you have, could be a platform community thing, but once they nerf the USAS you’re going to see all those folk flock to the Recon class and the MAV for roadkills. Because that’s the type of people they are; griefers.

    These guys will be able to safely deploy their toys behind the line of engagement and send wave after wave of them at you. Now it is possible that killing the elevator glitch will make the MAV less powerful and therefore naturally increase the difficulty to road kill people but I’m not placing any bets.

    When these morons get going you’re gonna wish you had the USAS back!

  2. I love all of this and until reading this article had no idea we were getting some more DLC. Cannot wait!

  3. Great article. I’ve slipped away from Battlefield 3, but I agree the multiplayer is amazing. No two matches are alike.

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