Popcorn and Pennies


By Jimmy Paperboy

So I went to theaters the other day and I ended up getting a good deal when I had to finance the experience. Ba da bing!!  Amazing jokes aside, going to see a movie these days is expensive.  A person can spend almost 30 dollars just for themselves for the night when you add up ticket prices and the “diabetic special” of popcorn, candy, and a drink.  With gimmicky things such as faux IMAX and 3D, the tickets themselves cost about 13 to 16 dollars.  It is also hard to justify spending that kind of money on uninspired sequels such as Final “I Swear This Is the Last” Destination and Adam Sandler movies where he talks in half mumbles/half baby talk.  Hell, for less than the price of 1 ticket, a person can get a month of Netflix with unlimited streaming of massive amounts of movie to choose from.  But you will never see this guy stop going to the theaters.

FAUX IMAX I SAY

The level of immersion that you get from going to the theaters is unmatched by any home theater setup.  When you plop down into that seat you are immediately aware of the giant screen that is in front of you.  The size of the screen is pivotal to getting you into movie watching mode.  Your entire field of vision is taken up by the massive screen, and this inevitably cuts down on distractions.  When you are watching a movie at home, your line of sight can be distracted by kids running around, screen savers playing, or countless other things.  Even if a person gets up to go to the bathroom that is sitting a couple rows ahead of you at a theater it is hard to notice because your eyes are undiverted from the giant screen.

People also complain about not being able to pause at the theaters to do pointless things like piss, call 911, or give themselves insulin shots.  A movie should be viewed in one complete uninterrupted showing.  A good movie is the result being so involved in the story that you are forced away from reality.  When that experience is interrupted by leaving the movie to answer a phone call, it is the equivalent to being awoken from a good dream.

The best dreams are always the wet ones

Yes, I do believe that IMAX and 3D are gimmicky and are mostly abused by studios these days.  However, when done right, together and separately, they can be amazing.  Avatar is an example of this.  It is probably already known that Avatar is basically Dances with Wolves with aliens, but the way that James Cameron implemented 3D IMAX made it one of the most innovative and groundbreaking movies this decade.  Just seeing the sparkles, dimples, and texture of something insignificant such as a small mushroom of the rainforest floor of Na’vi put me that much closer to feeling as if I was present on that planet.  There is no home theater experience that will be able to rival that feeling for me.

Needless to say, I couldn’t live without Netflix and I have always rented movies.  Enjoying a movie in the comfort of my own home in my soiled whitey tighties is always nice.  Also, I wrote this on the presumption of all of this occurring at a decent theater, which I am fortunate enough to have near my home.  I am sure technology will keep progressing and there will be some day where there is an experience more immersive than going to the theaters, but until then I will be happy to fork over my money to be able to fight over an armrest with an aggressive preteen so I can enjoy a movie on the silver screen.

Advertisements

One Comment to “Popcorn and Pennies”

  1. I love your writing style!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: