Archive for September 6th, 2011

September 6, 2011

The Evolution of the Škorpion


Ah the Škorpion, a Czechoslovakian submachine gun that, though developed in 1959, remains a video game staple to this day.  If you are like me, your first experience with this weapon came in the form of the Klobb in Goldeneye 64.

The Klobb, of course, has the unique privilege of being known as the worst gun in whats often considered one of the best first person shooters.  Inaccurate, weak, short ranged, and equipped with the softest and quietest sound an unsilenced gun has ever made, this throw away weapon was used only in an effort to obtain the more coveted KF7 Soviet (or the AK-47, as it were).  Its unusual in this sense that the gun remains so inaccurate considering that the gun clearly comes equipped with the folding stock, left unused throughout the game.

Half Life Goldeneye Mod

Regardless, the gun made a comeback in a big way, starting in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.  The developers, realizing any copyright held by a dissolved country on a Cold War era weapon name was about as enforceable as a contract for a heroin sale, gave the gun its proper name in the game.  This time around it was a versatile weapon, short ranged but effective and with very little recoil.  These improvements brought the game version closer to reality.

The gun was brought over into Call of Duty: Black Ops as well, retaining its spot as a powerful SMG choice for short range encounters.  It is currently rumored to be making a return in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, thus solidifying its spot as the SMG weapon of choice for all enemies with a Russian accent.

Moreover, the weapon has made cameos in movies ranging from The Dark Knight to the Matrix, though it is all too often portrayed as having magazines capable of holding too many rounds, and most always held by the bad guys.  Of course, this is because no self respecting good guy would have an SMG other than the Heckler & Koch MP5, but that’s another story in itself.

20 round magazine fires 50 rounds - Matrix math

The Škorpion fires .32 rounds.  These bullets are unique in that they both started World War 1 and ended World War 2, by getting a little too familiar with Archduke Franz Ferdinand and by taking up residence in Hitler’s brain.  The Škorpion is currently used by a laundry list of stable and successful countries including Afghanistan, Libya, Serbia and Uganda.  Yet, though it has become ubiquitous in popular media as the SMG of choice for all former Eastern Bloc bad guys, it will always remain to me, the Klobb.

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